This is the back cover to an album simply entitled "The Mr. T Album." I know nothing about it, other than this bad ass picture. One of the songs on the album is what I hope a love ballad called: "Mr T was made for lovin'." Is there nothing this man can't do?
12.10.01
The Talking Baby shirts are out next week. You heard me right, mama jamma! It looked like it was going to take a while longer, but then the company that's making them did a flippity flop on the jimmity jam and gave a certain baby who shall remain nameless the good news. So buy the shirts! I'm going to be up to my tits in t-shirts! 12.05.01
Who the hell do you have to blow to get on a search engine? Jesus, if I knew it was going to be this hard, I would have paid somebody to do this shit for me. You know what term I love? Information Super Highway. I think it's going to be one of those terms that people laugh at a few years from now.
Oh, one last thing. The other day I saw a commercial for the "Craftmatic Adjustable Bed," and the voice over gives you a few tips on some of the things you can do in your new old people bed. One of the suggestions was 'Surf the Net." I laughed.
Do people ever read this shit? 
11.27.01
My parents are in town today. I haven't seen them in over a year. We don't get along really well. Everytime I see them, I immediately turn back into that high school kid who lived with them. The only difference is NOW when I have sex with an 18 year old, I don't take it for granted. Damn, I can't wait for them leave, and they haven't even shown up yet. 
11.20.01
Thanksgiving! And you know what that means, it's time to alienate orphans! Ha ha! Stupid orphans! This year, at the Talking Baby ranch, it's back to thanksgiving basics! That's right, grilled lobster! Have a good thanksgiving everyone, and remember, kick an orphan! 
11.17.01
Talking Baby! You know what cartoon I never understood? Casper the Friendly Ghost. Because it's a show for little kids, right? But here's the part I don't understand. It's all about a dead child who's soul isn't at peace, so he has to remain on Earth until he finds a friend. But since he's a ghost, everyone is afraid of him, so making a connection with a person is virtually impossible. WHAT THE HELL? Can you imagine someone trying to get this idea by a studio now? Oh, and by the way, it's a comedy!!!!!!!! 
11.15.01
So many people ask me, "Hey, Talking Baby! What did you look like when you were younger? Well, here I am. As you can tell, I was getting laid CONSTANTLY. Jesus, do I miss High School.
Whenever I look at this picture, I'm reminded of the time I was grounded. I snuck out of my Mom's womb, stole the car, and hooked up with Lori Johanson. In her mom's womb. That was one of the best days of my life. 
11.14.01
This site is pretty damned bizarre if you have no idea what the hell Talking Baby is. Imagine that you've never seen the show and for some ungodly reason, you stumble across this site. It's pretty damned weird, right? Well, that's what happened yesterday. This dude comes onto the site and reads this. He has no idea what he's gotten himself into, and when he leaves, he says in his own words, "I have been forever altered by your weird ass site." This is one of the highest compliments you can pay me, because I love weird internet sites. But he said, "I can see the hand of the guy working the baby. Why wouldn't you try and hide it?" I died laughing. 
11.12.01
Look at this bastard. So full of himself, so cocky. Someone needs to knock him down a peg or two and I think it should be me. He's the type of person I hate most. He PRETENDS to be your friend. All happy and gleeful, but then as soon as your back is turned, WHAM! I made the mistake of going out drinking one night with Poppin' Fresh, and let me tell you the two best words that descibe him: Cock blocker. You're doughy ass is mine, sweet roll! 
11.11.01
I saw the preview for the new "Star Wars" this week. It was so good, that all I have to do is think about that trailer to achieve an erection. Damn, I'm sportin' half wood right now! This next summer is going to be the summer for geeks. Because with Spider-Man, Star Wars, and The Matrix coming out, there's going to be a lot of movies for geekity-geeks like me to go retarded on.
11.07.01
I'm a Talking Baby! Does anyone remember this God awful show? This show was so bad I'm surprised they haven't made it into a movie yet. For those of you who don't remember, it's about a girl who's a robot. And she can do all kinds of crazy things like move big ass furniture, or move fast, or talk all choppy the way you expect robots to actually speak. I want to see her on "Battlebots." Then and only then would I watch that show. 
11.02.01
Is this man:
A) Training for the Olympics
B) Trying to impress someone with a skill no one really gives a damn about
C) Trying to scratch his ass
D) Wicked gay |
